


Desolation

by bluemoonmaverick



Series: Supposition [10]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1742243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonmaverick/pseuds/bluemoonmaverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is part of a series that, while sticking strictly to canon, explores the theory that Sam and Jack were engaged in a clandestine romance off-screen from Season 6 onward.</p>
<p>This tag takes place during and after the events of Evolution, with references to Space Race, Avenger 2.0, and Birthright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desolation

Some experts claim there are five stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter ended their romantic relationship, Sam breezed through denial, anger, and bargaining within the first ten minutes. However, the fourth stage, depression, hit her like a ton of bricks, and she was fairly certain she would never get through it.

Following their conversation in the park, Sam had driven home and barricaded herself in her house for two days. She didn't eat, she didn't answer the phone, and she didn't think of anyone other than Jack. By the third day, she had run out of tears to cry, and she decided it was time to pull herself together.

Though she was still grieving, she vowed not to let her ill-fated romance with Jack affect her working relationships. She had already seen what happened when personal matters were brought into the field, and she had no desire to put herself or her team at risk. So, when she arrived at the SGC on Monday morning, she was the picture of cool professionalism with everyone, especially her commanding officer.

Unfortunately, said commanding officer knew her all too well and was immediately suspicious.

He was waiting for her when she left the commissary after breakfast. He matched her stride as she made her way to her lab. "Everything okay, Carter? I've been trying to reach you for the past couple days." In reality, he had tried to call her at least twenty times since their conversation in the park.

"Sorry, sir. I was out of pocket this weekend." She kept walking, keeping her gaze straight ahead.

He turned toward her, struggling to keep up with her pace. "Listen, I was wondering if you were available for lunch. Maybe we could finish our conversation from the other day."

She smiled at him, though it didn't reach her eyes. "That's not necessary, sir. I've considered what you said, and I now think you were absolutely right about the required course of action."

Jack stopped walking, but Sam continued down the hall. "You sure about that, Carter?" he called after her.

"Absolutely, sir," she replied.

She almost believed it.

oOoOoOo

When Sam felt herself slipping toward depression, she coped by looking for distractions. Though there were plenty of those around the SGC, the opportunity to assist Warrick with his race on Hebridan could not have come at a better time. She had grown bored with her usual projects, and she found herself missing Jack so badly it hurt. The race had given her something new to focus on, and for the first time since she and Jack had split up, she was actually excited about her work again.

It was for this reason, Sam suspected, that Hammond had approved the otherwise questionable mission. Jack had his reservations, but he wasn't about to put a stop to something that clearly made her so happy. In the end, she realized it had been slightly reckless, and more than a little dangerous, and exactly what she needed at that moment.

Not long after that, Felger had nearly shut down the entire Stargate network, requiring her to find a solution to the potentially disastrous problem. Later, the team had met Ishta and her Hak'tyl, and Sam's expertise was once again called upon, this time to help negotiate a treaty with the female Jaffa. And when Teal'c and Bra'tac brought back Anubis' super soldier, she and her father had spent hours working to uncover its secrets. It had all served to remind Sam that she was, in fact, needed.

Throughout it all, Sam and Jack had worked side by side, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Still, though, she missed him terribly. And though he never mentioned it, she was fairly certain he felt the same way, even though he kept his distance.

Then Daniel was kidnapped, and everything changed.

All of her distractions immediately became irrelevant, and the respectful distance he'd been keeping from her evaporated completely. It all culminated in an exchange in her lab before he left for Honduras and she for Tartarus, where their unspoken conversation conveyed more emotion than any words could have.

"I'm going after Daniel." _But I don't want to leave you._

"Good." _I'll be okay._

"This other mission..." _Please be careful._

"Shouldn't be a problem, Sir." _I will._ "When do you leave?"

"Now."

"Good luck." _I love you._

"You too." _I love you, too._

She had watched him go and realized that her heart had walked out the door with him, that he'd actually had it the entire time. And despite all of her attempts to move on, she was no closer to getting it back.

When she'd made it back alive and mostly uninjured, his relief had been palpable. He'd even asked her to lunch – again – and she wondered if the invitation wasn't some sort of olive branch, a second chance of sorts to mend their broken relationship, even if it could only be platonic.

Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one who'd noticed Jack's attention to her. Much later, when she and her father were alone in her lab, he began the cross-examination.

"You wanna tell me what's going on between you and Jack?"

Sam paused, ever so slightly, in examining Telchak's device. Not taking her eyes off of the machine, she responded to her father's question, but was unable to completely keep the irritation out of her voice. "I don't know what you're talking about, Dad."

Jacob was undeterred. "Well, for starters, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you when we returned from Tartarus."

"He was worried about us." She concentrated on the device.

Jacob stood up and looked at her through narrowed eyes. "Sam, I could have been bleeding out of my ears, and I doubt he would've noticed. He only had eyes for you."

"He's my CO, Dad. He was worried about his subordinate." She continued to fiddle with the machine, hoping that Jacob would take the hint and leave.

"Just your CO, huh?"

"Yes, just my CO." She continued to fiddle.

"Then why are you blushing?"

Sam had had enough. She put the device down, harder than was probably wise, and turned to face Jacob. "Because this is embarrassing. Because I have to put up with crap like this all the time. And the last person I want to discuss my personal life with is my father."

Jacob bowed his head, and when he spoke again, his voice held the now familiar timbre that indicated Selmak had taken over. "Your father is only concerned about your well being, Samantha."

Sam sighed. "I appreciate that Selmak, but you'll just have to trust me when I say that _nothing_ is happening between Colonel O'Neill and me."

He considered that for a moment, and Sam went back to work. After several seconds, Selmak resumed his questioning. "So, is that the problem?"

"Is what the problem?" she asked, exasperated.

He remained unfazed. "That nothing is happening between you and Colonel O'Neill."

"With all due respect, Selmak, I really don't want to have this conversation with you, either." She turned her attention to the device once again.

Jacob's voice was back and softer now, all humor gone. "I'm just worried about you, Sammie."

She looked at him and gave him a small smile. "I'm fine, Dad. Really."

Jacob made his way toward the door. At the last minute, he turned back into the room with a half smile on his face. "You'll let me know if you want me to kick his ass?"

She gave him one last wry look and shook her head. Finally, he left. She sighed. Ever since his blending with Selmak, her father had been more attuned to her emotional state. She didn't know whether to be thankful or annoyed.

Regardless, though, her father's – or Selmak's – instincts were frighteningly accurate. He'd picked up on the fact that she was right back where she started with Jack. Thinking of him. Loving him. Unable to be with him.

And, of course, heartbroken.

**Author's Note:**

> The quoted dialogue between Jack and Sam in the second part of the story is taken directly from Evolution, Part 2 (and thus not mine). It's one of my favorite scenes in the series. It amazes me how much emotion the actors were able to put into seven short lines of script. 
> 
> Thanks as always to MidKnight Rider for the beta.


End file.
